And so he fell
by Reaper of Happiness 420
Summary: This is the first story that I have ever published so I'm new to this fan fiction stuff! It's about Zilean's anguish and the following actions that occur after he finds out that he doesn't have the power to save his people. Please enjoy :)


And so he fell…

Because how much can a person take? The unstoppable feeling of grief for the one he loved could not be sustained forever. The void in his heart could not be stitched nor filled with love or understanding. His soul was broken like a shattered glass, its pieces moulding with the earth never to be seen again. His purpose in this mortal world was of no value to him any more. His entire existence was based on protecting her and he has failed. He has fallen down the steps of heaven only to succumb into his own hell of despair and painful memories.

And he kept on falling…

He clenched his fists as his face was bashed around by the freezing air around him. Those same fists would defend her and later on metamorphose into silky soft hands that would caress her innocent face whenever she was sad. He clenched them even harder at the very memory of her face. He clenched them so hard, that the irritating pain was nothing compared to the waterfall of the blood coming from his hands. It was the same blood that would boil whenever someone would hurt or upset her. It was the same blood that he would have to spill in order to guard her. And yet, all the gruesome pain and suffering he had to endure so she could follow a straight path, a path without stress nor depression, in the end, was all for nothing.

And he fell even more…

''Was this really the right option? Would this really solve my problems and leave my mind at rest?'' He doubted that greatly, for no matter what he did, no omniscient being in the world could bring her back. In the beginning, he would not dare say or even think about death or any miserable thoughts that crawled in his mind when he was close to her. Even if he tried, he would not be able to bring himself to it. Her marvellous sky-blue eyes, so beautifully emphasized by her brown long hair always cleared his thoughts of any negative feelings at the time. ''Love'' was a little speck of a feeling compared to the attachment he felt for her. She was so innocent, and yet she had to meet her dreadful fate.

Falling...Falling through the midnight sky…

Tiny tears began to well in his hateful eyes, as the clouds parted to show the one thing that he never wished to see again: The exquisite Moon, so alone and yet powerful, shining its alluring light straight into his eyes. The memories of her on his back, both laughing as he run up the highest hill in the City to find the perfect spot for them to gaze at the Moon, was too much for him. He tried hard to push those feelings to the back of his mind, but they wouldn't budge. He felt a lump in his throat, as somewhere in his mind, he heard her beautiful little voice singing their favourite songs when they used to sit on the hill. It sang so sweetly, it would have been soothing for his soul only if he didn't know that because of him that voice was cut short. It was all his fault. All. His. Fault.

Falling ever so further...Almost there now…

On the night of her death he knew, somewhere deep inside of himself, that they shouldn't have left the house. The night was dangerous and his 6th sense told him that a sorrowful fate will meet them. But when her gaze met his as she pleaded him to go see the moon, it had melted him and so he agreed. Just as she was about to fall asleep to his amazing stories, all safe in his lap, they were ambushed by a group of filthy dark summoner-knights. He fought bravely and wholeheartedly, and yet he failed to win the skirmish as he was struck on the back of his head. When he woke up, he found her frail form, all bloody and broken, amidst the tall grass. The illuminating light shone on her dead body, emphasising his mistake. Somewhere inside of his head, a screw came loose. He was paralysed and shocked; shocked and paralysed. And so he stayed by her body, his everlasting fall of tears mixing with her blood as he wailed and screamed at the top of his lungs. She was gone but he couldn't accept it. He wouldn't.

When he finally gathered the strength to take his eyes of her, a question dwelled inside of his tormented mind: ''Why her? Why not me?'' He desperately tried to look for a logical answer to that pitiful question, and set his eyes on the Urtisan city in hope of searching for it. Yet, all his eyes were met with were not the magnificent, shining buildings of his home town, but smouldering debris. Everyone he knew, everyone he loved, had met their quietus. As his hands started to tremble, his body quickly followed and unstoppable waves of melancholy tears fell from his eyes. If one could portray the scene, it would be depicted with a single drawing of Hell.

And now he fell, ever so slightly down the sky to find her. He had not only failed her, but failed an entire civilization. It afflicted his brain and all he ever felt from that moment was anguish. He wanted this despicable feeling to perish. All he could now do was stare at himself in the mirror with contempt and reminisce about his memories of her, only to later acknowledge that he would never get those beautiful moments of his loved one back. He was unable to take it any more; his entire conscience was about to fall into the grasp of insanity. He could not be blamed for this, for he was only performing an act of freedom. By jumping off his own Clock Tower, not so long after her demise, he accepted the fact that he would be unable to live a life without her in this wretched world. He wanted to pursue her and hold her delicate hand once again, free from cuts and blood stains. He smiled one more time, at the very thought of finding her again and being truly happy, closed his tired eyes and allowed the sand below to meet him.

Zilean was now free…


End file.
